I just like enjoying life. It would be cool if I had someone to enjoy it with me. If not I’ll still be happy, just a little lonely.
I’m sitting here at 2 a.m. in the morning thinking about my life and the person I’m growing up to be. And it’s weird because I’m trying to decide if I’m going down a positive path or a negative one. The thing is, by societies standards I’m growing into a no good piece of shit. I smoke weed, I love getting tats and piercings, my ears are stretched like a mother fucker, and I don’t give a fuck who cares. School is no longer a priority for me, I just like being happy. A lot of people that knew me as a kid, now frown in disappointment at me. The thing is what’s wrong with me being the person I want to be?? People say, “Oh you’ll never get anywhere in life looking like that.” or “You’ll never get a job with all that.” Well if somebody decides to judge me based on the way I look and express myself, then that’s their problem and their loss certainly not mine and I don’t want anything to do with them anyway. I think I’m growing up to be a pretty decent young man. I’m kind, never hurtful, and I go around helping others. Fuck you if you judge me.
Today’s 420 so I think I’m gonna read my bible. I mean everyone knows Jesus is the most high.
When I was a little kid I would play sports and they were the funnest thing in the world for me. Maybe it was because I was naturally good back then or maybe it was because I just enjoyed playing harder than everyone else. Whatever it was though, it gave me the happiest feeling in the world, especially when I would win or do good against an opponent. As I grew older sports were still fun, but it was a little more difficult to do as well and stand out in them. That’s when I started working super hard, lifting weights, running sprints, studying the game. I started doing all these things in middle school and it increased more and more all the way through high school up until now here in college. Sometimes I wonder why I put myself through so much just for a sport and why it’s the only thing that matters to me. Then I have to remind myself of that prideful feeling I got as a little kid scoring points on the other kids and my family and friends smiling at me, proud of me. That small feeling of pride, accomplishment, and happiness is the reason I do what I do everyday. It’s the reason I live, all for a smile.
The worst feeling in the world is dedicating your whole heart to one thing and in the end none of it paying off.
If I’ve been nothing but nice to you and you’re a total bitch towards me, I’m not gonna say anything, just know you lost a friend.
It’s funny how I’m so easily forgotten, laughed at, and hated. What did I ever do? I’m nice to everybody, I stick up for people, go out of my way to help others, but none of that matters. People always end up leaving me in the dirt feeling used and washed up. I’m just really tired of it all, I give up.
I’m going wherever life takes me and in the end, no matter what happens I’m just gonna be my happy self.
WHY DO I FIND SO MANY PERFECT PEOPLE ON TUMBLR BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE??? :’(